Choice

I photograph maternity for a reason. I want women to be free to maintain their autonomy while entering motherhood. Being in a relationship of honoring with our body while stepping away from defeat is how I want to help accomplish that. 

There is quite a bit of freedom that we lose. May we not lose ourselves in the process. Identity depends on what we connect to. Is it owning our bodies which holds  our passions. Mine passion is photography. I have a outlets for who I am and what I like doing. which is separated from me being a mother. 

It is nice to feel like the queen of your home. Which means parenting style is governed mainly by you. That is a lot of power. 

I didn't have the most support as a single mom.  After many years my time went from accomplishment to feeling burdened, taking some of that out on my daughter. Not a pretty thing to admit. Mothers are supposed to be perfect and pure. Not one mistake or you will be vilified on Facebook. Support pages have don't always offer solidarity.

I am glad that the time I spent during Maya's life was also spent nurturing my needs to express myself. May we keep a sense of community that feeds are mistakes and our post pardum depression. I want to reach out and hold hands with someone who can lift a woman to reach a balance of loss and the love of her life. Her child. 

I volunteered for Baby Blues Connection. It was started by a powerful woman who suffered serious depression after giving birth. Before stories I heard in training I had never knew that this affliction is what many women experience. I remember feeling very sad after my birth. I was lost and alone for a short while. It was a time where life was very full so there was not a dark room that could have sucked me in.

I felt such compassion for these women who were hurting. Plain and simple, they were in pain. 

May we understand what motherhood also means. Sacrifice.